Ruby's Trashy Birthday
by The Layman
Summary: The untold story of the RWBY Chibi sketch "Happy BirthdayWeen!" Much goof. Very trash. So ween. Wowow. (Basically an excuse to put Ruby into a bunch of different costumes.) One-Shot


Ruby was not having a good time. Nope. Not at all. She just stood in the middle of the hall, in her costume, wishing Zwei would go and chew up all her traitorous team's pillows to teach them a lesson; curse them for pulling something like this!

And on her _Birthday_ of all days….

"Great costume, Ruby!" said Nora as the ginger girl walked by in her nurse's outfit, looking like things couldn't be going finer for her.

" _It wasn't my decision!"_ the younger girl shrieked, waving her arms wildly in anger. She'd been _hoping_ to go as a fictional character or even something more traditional, but again, curse her traitorous team for ruining those plans.

In her flailing she accidentally overbalanced herself and toppled over, her costume clanging as she hit the floor.

 _Eeyup, 'best birthday ever'..._

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

 _Earlier that day…._

Ruby skipped down the streets of Vale, humming cheerily to herself as she and her team made their way to the costume store to get outfits for the upcoming Halloween party.

Courtesy of her team, of course, because today was also her birthday.

"Has she _always_ been like this?" Weiss asked, her and the others following slightly behind their perky, energetic leader as they made their way through town. "Because I don't remember her ever being this…'trash' before."

" _You've_ never lived with her before," Yang replied. "Trust me, she was ever worse than this when she first realized she was born on a holiday; practically bounced off the walls for the whole day, and that was _before_ she had any candy!" She shuddered a bit. "Scary…."

Blake raised an incredulous eyebrow at her partner's claim. "Really?"

Yang just started at her with a haunted expression.

"Hey, focus!" Weiss snapped her fingers in Yang's face, which seemed to snap the blonde out of her fugue-like state. "You still didn't answer my question."

"Oh. Yeah, she basically gets like this every Halloween. Honestly, it's _super_ annoying when she always goes ' _you know, cuz it's my_ Birthday _and everything…._ '." She sighed, "I've met brats before, but none of them were so... _perky_ …."

"...so then why are we going along with this?" Blake wondered.

This caused the corners of Yang's mouth to turn up in a devious grin. "Because I'm gonna teach her a lesson...by giving her exactly what she wants!" At her friends' raised eyebrows she motioned for them to come in close. "OK, here's what we do…."

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"How about this one?" Ruby asked, stepping out of the dressing room she'd commandeered. Upon arriving at the costume store the young Huntress in training immediately began zipping from rack to rack, marveling at all the different outfits. Once the rest of her team caught up she started grabbing costumes and tossing them into a nearby shopping cart. " _You're not getting all of those!"_ Yang immediately put her foot down, to which her little sister assured her that she only want one, but it had to be _perfect_.

Weiss, who was standing by the cart (she and the others had already picked their costumes out before today) regarded her partner with a small measure of awe, though not because the girl had already tried on a dozen or so outfits before this one. "When did you get so excited about dressing up?" she asked. "We practically had to force you into your dress for the Dance." Beside her Blake nodded in agreement.

"Be _cause_ , Weiss," Ruby explained as though the information were obvious, "Halloween is the one time where dressing up is actually _fun_! I can wear whatever I want, and I don't have to put with stupid lady stilts!"

" _Heels_ ," the heiress corrected, "they're called heels."

"Eh, same difference." Then she spun around, showing off her costume in full. "But seriously, how does it look?" She was wearing a onesie made to look like a Grimm, specifically a Beowulf. The effect of it was...less frightening than an actual Beowulf, to put it mildly.

It also didn't help that Ruby couldn't scare a baby squirrel, even without taking the costume into account.

"It looks fine," Blake said when Weiss declined to put forth an opinion, "is that the one you're going with?"

Ruby regarded the costume again, twisting around so she could see it from the back. "...nah," she eventually decided, "I don't think so; too cutesy." She then disappeared back behind the curtain, tossing the onesie out a second later.

"What kind of costume are you looking for?" asked Blake, trying to at least be somewhat helpful before Yang's plan came to fruition.

" _I dunno,"_ she replied, " _...maybe something scary-? Ooh!"_ The sounds of clothes rustling could be heard, and a moment later Ruby burst out again in her newest costume. "Tah dah!~" To her credit, Blake was _mostly_ able to hold back her laughter at the conniption Weiss was having.

For the record, Ruby was dressed in a near carbon copy of Weiss's combat attire.

" _REALLY_?!" Weiss shrieked, causing Ruby to wince a little, "How am _I_ scary?"

"Well…," Ruby poked her fingers together, "I mean, there _was_ that time before Initiation-"

"Just change into something else!" she commanded, pointing towards the changing room. As Ruby shrank back behind the curtain Weiss turned to her Faunus teammate, "Something you'd like to add, Belladonna?"

"Nope," she said, the smile that was now glued to her face saying plenty already, "nothing at all."

An involuntary snicker managed to escape.

" _OK, how about this one?"_ This time she emerged wearing a red, long sleeved dress, mismatched stockings (one of them looked more like wrappings than a single stocking), a dark cape, and a floppy, pointed hat with buttons and stitches that looked like a face. "I'm a witch!"

"I thought witches were supposed to be ugly," commented Weiss, "you look more like some kid who got into a witch's closet."

"It's not really that scary," Blake added.

"But it's my _colors_ …!" the fifteen year old whined. She pouted. "Yang would like it…."

"Look, just...try something else, OK?" Blake patted her on the shoulder. "We've still got some time before the Halloween party, try some more costumes on."

"OK…," Ruby relented, disappearing once again.

Once they were alone Weiss leaned over to Blake and whispered " _How much longer is Yang going to take? It's almost been an hour now._ "

" _I don't know,_ " Blake shrugged, " _she just said to keep Ruby busy until she gets back._ "

Weiss let out a long suffering sigh just before Ruby pulled the curtain back for her next reveal. This time the younger girl was dressed in an older styled maid uniform. "And how is _that_ supposed to be scary?" the heiress wondered aloud.

In response Ruby made a very mocking parody of a curtsy. "Oh _yes_ , My Lady, how can I be of service? Would you care for another 'brussle', My Lady? Should I put more bubbles in your bath, My Lady? Are your feet massaged enough yet, My Lady?" Then she shuddered, "No thanks!"

"That is _not_ how the Help acts!" Weiss protested. "Nor is it 'scary'!"

"It is when your boss is angry," Ruby pointed out.

Weiss tried to form a rebuttal, but found that she'd couldn't really fault her partner's logic.

After that Ruby ducked back in the changing room and popped out thirty seconds later. Now she was in an orange leotard (there were a bunch of mechanical designs on it) and a leather jacket lined with wool, and she had some kind of techno harness over her chest. "How about this one?"

"It…alright?" Blake answered uncertainty. "Is that a character from a movie or something?"

Ruby shook her head. " _Nope_ ; she's from a really awesome video game!"

Ah, that would explain it; Blake much preferred the company of a good book to the often mind numbing repetition of video games and would often let herself lose on purpose when Yang insisted she play.

"I'm not sure," Weiss mused, now looking like she was giving the costume a serious evaluation, "it just...isn't _you_."

"It's not a bad costume," Blake added hurriedly, "but Weiss is right, it just doesn't seem like _you_."

Ruby sighed and nodded, heading back to change into the next costume.

"Well," she said, stepping back out a moment later, "how about this one?" Now she was dressed like a diner waitress.

"...I feel like I should be giving you my order right now," Weiss admitted.

Blake didn't give her opinion on the costume because she was now too busy thinking about tuna.

Ruby groaned and headed back to change _again_ ; clearly, this wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.

When she emerged in her next costume she was met with a couple of quizzical stares.

"...it's just a hoodie," Weiss pointed out bluntly. "How is that a costume?"

"It's not _just_ a hoodie, it's the hoodie worn by the main character of-"

"Another video game?" Blake guessed.

"Uh huh!" Ruby nodded. She then proceeded to explain about the outfit, "Notice the subtle allusions to computers: plugs on the end of the hoodie ties, etc. The placement of the hand receptacles-" She pocketed her hands in demonstration. "-is perfectly ideal, and it's just snug enough to be comfortable but not constricting." Then she gave a cheeky wink, "Plus, it's both warm and breathable, perfect for all your winter needs!"

"What about pants?" Weiss asked after a minute, "Wouldn't those also be important?"

Ruby's previous enthusiasm evaporated, replaced by annoyance. " _UGH_ , you're missing the point, Weiss!"

"No she isn't," Yang rebutted, suddenly popping up from behind a nearby rack, "her weapon's safe and sound back at Beacon!"

Weiss somehow resisted the urge to use a coat hanger to bludgeon herself (or Yang, she wasn't picky) into unconsciousness.

"Yang, where were you?" Ruby asked her sister, "I can't decide which costume for you to buy me!"

"Well, you're in luck!" She wrapped an arm around her sister, "Because I just ordered you the _perfect_ costume! And it'll be delivered to Beacon before the Party, so now we don't have to worry about carrying it back!"

" _Really!~_ " There were sparkles literally dancing around Ruby's eyes. She embraced Yang in a bear hug, arms and legs wrapped around her older sister. " _Ooooooh thank you thank you thank you, you're the best sister_ ever"

"I know.~" Yang said, drinking in the praise Ruby was heaping on her.

Weiss and Blake rolled their eyes at this.

" _What is it?_ " Ruby pestered, " _What is it what is it what is it?"_

"Can't tell you, it's a surprise." The older girl made a show of not caring about what her sister thought, to which Ruby immediately made her "sad puppy" face. After a few seconds of this Yang "relented", " _Well_...I guess I can say that when I found it, I couldn't think of anything that would fit you better right now."

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

 _Present time…._

While Ruby was flailing around in her trash can costume in the floor the rest of her Team were congregated by the punch bowl, taking in the spectacle.

"I have to admit," Angel Weiss said, gently swirling around the punch in her cup, "this is probably more satisfying to me than it should be."

Sexy Honeybee Yang nodded in agreement, "Tell me about it! I've had to put up with 'cuz it's my Birthday' for years, it's nice to see her finally getting her just deserts." She reached over and grabbed a piece of candy from a nearby bowl and popped it in her mouth. "I gotta say though, I'm a bit disappointed in the spread for this Halloween party."

"Why? There's plenty of candy."

"That's my point, there's nothing else; it's _just deserts_!"

Weiss miraculously resisted the urge to splash Yang with her punch.

Swashbuckler Blake just sighed next to the pair. "God dammit Yang…."

In the foreground of the shot "Roman Torchwick" Neo popped up and winked at the camera, holding up a sign that read " _That's all, folks!"_

fin.

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

 _And there we have it, a quick one shot in honor of everyone's favorite trash can! (Also because Halloween, if belatedly.) Clearly not meant to be canon, just for fun._

 _If you like this, then check out my RWBY related videos on YouTube ("The Layman"), and if vidjya gaems are more your thing I stream on Twitch ("the_layman"). For the direct links (and if you just want to say hi/like RWBY fanart) check out my Twitter ( (a) "the_layman215")._

 _(Also, every time you read the word "costume" take a shot. A shot of what? Up to you!)_


End file.
